I've got a headache. Pushing open the door to a room filled with laughter and smoke mingled with music doesn't help much. It's too busy here..I should go home. Leaning against the door frame I sigh...nothing to go home to but an empty fridge and an emptier bed. I'm going to stay...even just to pretend that I'm not alone for a brief moment or two. Eyes dart around the room and find an empty stool in the middle of the bar along with the quickest route to it...or so I thought.
Dodging bodies..watching thick hands on soft skin...half these women in here wouldn't be getting all their attention if it were a little brighter and the alcohol not offered so readily. I can't fault them though...we're social creatures...even if we don't want to, we crave the connection another human being gives us...the touch..a look..a slight wave of breath on our skin. It carries us to the next moment. I twist like a dancer, weaving through the masses...can't avoid the drunks even when you want to....and he slammed right into me. The only thing that kept him from falling was his iron grip on my breasts. Reeling from the sudden contact and unable to process the fact that this .... person ... was groping me and drooling, I almost threw up on him. Thankfully, his drunken female companion came over and loudly whispered something about sucking him like a leech in the bathroom and took him away...I almost vomited again.
I shouted my drink order to the bartender before I even sat down and as my ass hit the stool I had the shot glass in hand, the liquid in my throat, and motioned for another. The second and third followed the first without much of a fight and while I let them get to know each other, I scanned the room.
The music is offensive, it smells like funky monkey ass in here, the men are either too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny, too creepy, too pretty, too...something, the women are desperate...as always, there's sex in the air and all you need is a Vegas chip, some silicon, or a hellalot of money to get so drunk you don't care.
The bartender is busy...and not what I'm looking for. He probably only does this to make money to pay his way through college...just like all the strippers...yeah, and I'm sure the sex he gets from random women every night dosen't hurt either. Nah, he's too smart...
Every other man in here is too drunk. That's what I get for taking so long to get here...I don't want anymore alcohol in my system than what I've already had. Drink too much and you'll be waking up beside them in the morning and they'll be spouting love poems while you're throwing on clothes and trying to find the words to say you only used them to fulfill a basic need and it wasn't anything spectacular anyway. No sir...I like my men out cold when I'm done. Easier to get away. No messy complications.
I need to move...I'm getting restless...I need a fix soon.
Touch Me Madly - 2
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Labels:
confessions,
masturbation,
sex
I'm done here...maybe I'll scan the grocery store for some late night meat. Unfortunately, I'd have to be charming and witty and the only thing I'm exuding is sex...hot...sweaty...pulsing through my veins...I need it...badly. Hard to calm down lately. Every year it gets harder. I let my head hang and grit my teeth until my jaw pops ... my heart slows enough and I feel safe enough to move. My hand drops to my bare thigh and the touch of skin on skin...even my own...starts my heart racing again. I probably should have put on some panties before I left but I love how the wind caresses up my legs in my favorite mini-skirt.
The room goes black and all noise gets filtered out except for the constant bass of the music and it pulses through my body, helping move my need from my fingers through my thighs. Suddenly I'm all alone in my head. Nothing else matters but the wetness between my legs. My left hand lightly runs its fingers across my exposed chest...slowly dipping into my cleavage and running back up to my neck and jaw. My right hand finds its way under my skirt. Its fingers tracing the crevice where my leg meets my hip. The thumb lightly flicking itself over my mound...searching for the warmth.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I see myself sitting on this dirty bar stool..head tilted to the right, eyes closed, biting my bottom lip...legs spread enough that the red skirt is pushed up almost to my waist...hand lost in the folds of skin and fabric...chest heaving..what am I thinking...
I've got to pull myself together and get a fix. I slowly remove my hands and straighten my outfit without opening my eyes. I know there's another drink in front of me... a 'thanks for the show' gift. I reach out and swallow its contents slowly, letting it bring me back to myself. My eyelashes flutter and open and as they do I see every male at the bar staring at me with longing. I flash a smirk at all of them, slide off the stool and walk seductively out of the now quiet bar.
I love how my body moves when I walk. Cloth on skin...thighs touching...wetness slowly dripping, waiting to be caught with a tongue...hips rocking side to side...back arched slightly to push out my breasts.
I know they're watching...and I eat it up..
The room goes black and all noise gets filtered out except for the constant bass of the music and it pulses through my body, helping move my need from my fingers through my thighs. Suddenly I'm all alone in my head. Nothing else matters but the wetness between my legs. My left hand lightly runs its fingers across my exposed chest...slowly dipping into my cleavage and running back up to my neck and jaw. My right hand finds its way under my skirt. Its fingers tracing the crevice where my leg meets my hip. The thumb lightly flicking itself over my mound...searching for the warmth.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I see myself sitting on this dirty bar stool..head tilted to the right, eyes closed, biting my bottom lip...legs spread enough that the red skirt is pushed up almost to my waist...hand lost in the folds of skin and fabric...chest heaving..what am I thinking...
I've got to pull myself together and get a fix. I slowly remove my hands and straighten my outfit without opening my eyes. I know there's another drink in front of me... a 'thanks for the show' gift. I reach out and swallow its contents slowly, letting it bring me back to myself. My eyelashes flutter and open and as they do I see every male at the bar staring at me with longing. I flash a smirk at all of them, slide off the stool and walk seductively out of the now quiet bar.
I love how my body moves when I walk. Cloth on skin...thighs touching...wetness slowly dripping, waiting to be caught with a tongue...hips rocking side to side...back arched slightly to push out my breasts.
I know they're watching...and I eat it up..
How to Start Your Own Country
How to Start Your Own Country - wikiHow ((I mean seriously, who doesn't want their own nation?!))
Anyone can start their own country. That doesn't mean that people will recognize it, but hey, they generally won't stop you from trying--as long as they don't see it as a threat. So if you'd like to do your own thing in your own country, here's how to establish a micronation.
Steps
- Find territory for your micronation. Most micronationalists use their houses, land no one wants, or land on other planets. Some micronations exist on land unclaimed by other countries because of a loophole in a treaty. The Republic of Indian Stream, for example, is on land between the U.S. and Canada but is not under the jurisdiction of either because of ambiguous terms in the Treaty of Paris.[1] If you can't find land, though, make some! One millionaire activist piled sand onto a reef located in the Pacific Ocean south of Fiji and created an artificial island to start the Republic of Minerva.[2] But if you're not rich enough to make land, then just make it up--some of the more lighthearted micronations claim land on imaginary continents or planets.
- Declare your independence. If you have land, a declaration of independence will serve to claim that territory. Keep in mind, however, that actually sending your declaration of independence to gain recognition can lead to legal or military action if anyone disputes that claim. For example, when The Republic of Minerva issued a declaration of independence in letters to neighboring countries, the neighbors were very perturbed, and one of the countries decided to send their people to the island to take down the Minervan flag.[2] Besides, you can still function like an independent nation without actually declaring independence, like Taiwan does![3]
- Set up a government and constitution. This is a good time to consider why you're starting a country, and how you would like it to turn out. Here are some examples:
- recreating the past - e.g. Nova Roma, dedicated "to the restoration of classical Roman religion, culture and virtues"[4]
- just for fun - e.g. the Aerican Empire, based on strong senses of humour and a love of science fiction, fantasy, and games[5]
- to promote an agenda - e.g. Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands, on the uninhabited Coral Sea Islands off the coast of Queensland, in response to the Australian government's refusal to recognize same-sex marriage[6]
- Acquire citizens. You can have only yourself, if you want, or anyone who wants to join. Having a website, however, will help publicize your micronation to potential citizens around the world. You must also decide what you require of your citizens. Do they have to pass a test? Abide by certain laws? And what will they have to identify themselves as citizens of your country - A passport? Driver's license? Badge?
- Decide on symbols for your country. You should have a flag, a coat of arms, and any other way to represent yourself. If you want, you can turn an existing nation's flag upside-down so you don't have to sew one. Once you have symbols chosen, you can issue stamps, medals, and currency, if you'd like. Some micronations go as far as inventing their own culture and language. Of course, you might be content to create your own letterhead. After all, it's your country!
Tips
- If you want to stand a chance of being recognized, your country should have territory, a government, a permanent population, and be able to host diplomatic relations (the Montevideo Convention's requirements for statehood).
- Study existing and well-established micronations. What has led to their success? What can you learn from them?
Just me.
I am:
- just me...no more and no less
- old
- single (for god's sake, don't ask this cause it just proves to me that you're a dumbfuck!)
- a mother of 2 boys
- a college student (undergrad for the moment)
- intelligent
- uber awesome
- sarcastic
- overtly sexual
- more dirty minded than my father
- a strong believer in free love and condoms
- an amazingly strong person
- incredibly fragile
- resilient
- a horrific speller (god love spell-check!)
- a minister (weird huh?)
- not even 5'2"
- curvy
- beautiful
- a math ninja
- a failure at simple algebra
- a glorious nerd
- a collector of bumper stickers (ask me about my favorite ones...I may post some pics of them)
- a homebody who likes to get her freak on at the dance club!
- forgetful
- selfish
- jealous
- persistent
- sexy as hell
- a great conversationalist
- the gayest straight person you know ((thanks Victoria ;) ))
- hot for nerds
- a contradiction
I am not:
- your mother
- your ho/whore/bitch/skank etc. etc.
- for sale (unless your name is Victoria and my face has been between your boobs!)
- a good dancer
- a magnificent singer
- a genius
- a lesbian or bi-sexual even tho I really do appreciate the female body and all its beauty. I honestly just love dick...and I love it a lot...I promise!
- a wonderful cook, but I can read directions!
I have:
- a quick temper
- unending amounts of patience
- an uncanny ability to read people
- psychic powers ((ask me about them sometime))
- absolutely no direction sense whatsoever! I get lost in a brown paper bag with a neon sign that says "EXIT"
- amazing friends
- a brilliant mind
- a crazy sexy voice
- a great smile
- soft lips
- a nice ass
- big boobs! ((see, I do know it...you really don't have to tell me!!))
- a t-shirt obsession
- a weakness for topless guys
- no tolerance for stupidity ((none. Stupid people should be shot, it the head, at close range, before they reproduce. Seriously))
- no desire to be fucked in the ass
- a few kinks ((good luck finding those out))
- a sharp tongue
- a quick wit
- the ability to turn even the most mundane things sexual
- the ability to turn you on
- no desire to actually do it
- a daddy....I don't need you
I won't:
- fuck you
- suck you
- masturbate for you
- post any NSFW pics of me...or even anything that comes close
- give you my phone number
- give you my IM info
- automatically be your friend unless you interest me
- join your chat room just because you post a link in my comments
- eat brussel sprouts
- eat zucchini
- lie
I will:
- delete comments that I don't like
- delete ads in my comments
- make you laugh
- care deeply
- actually talk to you if you try
- enjoy life
- worry
- love without restriction
- look past the superficial
- be appreciative of your efforts
- be honest
So who are you?
- just me...no more and no less
- old
- single (for god's sake, don't ask this cause it just proves to me that you're a dumbfuck!)
- a mother of 2 boys
- a college student (undergrad for the moment)
- intelligent
- uber awesome
- sarcastic
- overtly sexual
- more dirty minded than my father
- a strong believer in free love and condoms
- an amazingly strong person
- incredibly fragile
- resilient
- a horrific speller (god love spell-check!)
- a minister (weird huh?)
- not even 5'2"
- curvy
- beautiful
- a math ninja
- a failure at simple algebra
- a glorious nerd
- a collector of bumper stickers (ask me about my favorite ones...I may post some pics of them)
- a homebody who likes to get her freak on at the dance club!
- forgetful
- selfish
- jealous
- persistent
- sexy as hell
- a great conversationalist
- the gayest straight person you know ((thanks Victoria ;) ))
- hot for nerds
- a contradiction
I am not:
- your mother
- your ho/whore/bitch/skank etc. etc.
- for sale (unless your name is Victoria and my face has been between your boobs!)
- a good dancer
- a magnificent singer
- a genius
- a lesbian or bi-sexual even tho I really do appreciate the female body and all its beauty. I honestly just love dick...and I love it a lot...I promise!
- a wonderful cook, but I can read directions!
I have:
- a quick temper
- unending amounts of patience
- an uncanny ability to read people
- psychic powers ((ask me about them sometime))
- absolutely no direction sense whatsoever! I get lost in a brown paper bag with a neon sign that says "EXIT"
- amazing friends
- a brilliant mind
- a crazy sexy voice
- a great smile
- soft lips
- a nice ass
- big boobs! ((see, I do know it...you really don't have to tell me!!))
- a t-shirt obsession
- a weakness for topless guys
- no tolerance for stupidity ((none. Stupid people should be shot, it the head, at close range, before they reproduce. Seriously))
- no desire to be fucked in the ass
- a few kinks ((good luck finding those out))
- a sharp tongue
- a quick wit
- the ability to turn even the most mundane things sexual
- the ability to turn you on
- no desire to actually do it
- a daddy....I don't need you
I won't:
- fuck you
- suck you
- masturbate for you
- post any NSFW pics of me...or even anything that comes close
- give you my phone number
- give you my IM info
- automatically be your friend unless you interest me
- join your chat room just because you post a link in my comments
- eat brussel sprouts
- eat zucchini
- lie
I will:
- delete comments that I don't like
- delete ads in my comments
- make you laugh
- care deeply
- actually talk to you if you try
- enjoy life
- worry
- love without restriction
- look past the superficial
- be appreciative of your efforts
- be honest
So who are you?
Heartless
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Is it that hard? To not look any further? To believe that I'm the next best thing? To know that the same fucking words you told her while you were talking to me, will get back to me and cut through my heart...tear it to shreds. Here, let me pick up the pieces so you can toss them in the shredder...oh wait, let's burn it too...then let wild animals eat the ashes.
I mean really...do I mean so little? Or are you hiding...from everyone? I don't give a shit about everyone else. Only myself...and myself is fucking fragile. Damnit watch your mouth!
It's a simple question really. Am I enough for you...is anyone...will I ever be...and in the meantime, could you at least pretend to respect my heart or just give it back to me. Maybe you weren't really worth it....yes you are...but I can't be the one if I'm not...not for you...so let me be the one for someone else....just be a man about it.
I mean really...do I mean so little? Or are you hiding...from everyone? I don't give a shit about everyone else. Only myself...and myself is fucking fragile. Damnit watch your mouth!
It's a simple question really. Am I enough for you...is anyone...will I ever be...and in the meantime, could you at least pretend to respect my heart or just give it back to me. Maybe you weren't really worth it....yes you are...but I can't be the one if I'm not...not for you...so let me be the one for someone else....just be a man about it.
Fuck the letters
Number and words all blur together...the numbers are cold...calculating...without emotion. They know who they are, what they do, they have rules and identities and even when they're not real they're still important. A number is always the same...has the same value...the same purpose...letters and variables all bleed across the lines.
xy=q=sin(z)=f''(x)=whatthefuckdidireallymeantosay!?
you can't count on letters. they join together to form words and words are meaningless....one word can mean so many different things, inflection, posture, tilt of the head, form of the sentence ... you say the same words to me...to her...to him...to them....how, why...should I believe them...you?
1=1 and can NEVER = 4...until you throw those damn letters in there. Fuck the letters and the words and the variables. I want to see your numbers.
xy=q=sin(z)=f''(x)=whatthefuckdidireallymeantosay!?
you can't count on letters. they join together to form words and words are meaningless....one word can mean so many different things, inflection, posture, tilt of the head, form of the sentence ... you say the same words to me...to her...to him...to them....how, why...should I believe them...you?
1=1 and can NEVER = 4...until you throw those damn letters in there. Fuck the letters and the words and the variables. I want to see your numbers.
Unnumb....maybe.
Looking for happiness in my panties is a lost cause...my eyes see more action then they do.
Words are meaningless in the grand scale of things...but when words are all we have I'll cling to each and every one. I'll wrap each letter around my heart until I fell you breathing on my cheek. You make me want so many things I'd forgotten...my pulse gets quicker with the thought of you...you make me want you...but is it really you that I want, or a piece of my lost youth...to be loved deeply in return...to feel like I matter...to belong to someone...something....to be whole again.
Maybe I'm just looking for my place in life...would it be so bad if I were alone...would I ever be happy just watching you from the edge of the crowd...would I ever have the strength to walk away...would I even want to?
The angles of flesh are hard and jut in your face....here taste me...smell me...they scream...but they all feel the same....one scent blends into the next....can't tell where they meet...every arm, face, leg....meld together as one....I want to stand out...to scream at you .....
"This is madness.....please save me!"
but will you listen.....or will you hear what they do...my whisper is softer by the second...I want to be noticed..to be heard...to be important. I don't need you to justify my existence...but I do want you to enrich it....are you up to the challenge?
Words are meaningless in the grand scale of things...but when words are all we have I'll cling to each and every one. I'll wrap each letter around my heart until I fell you breathing on my cheek. You make me want so many things I'd forgotten...my pulse gets quicker with the thought of you...you make me want you...but is it really you that I want, or a piece of my lost youth...to be loved deeply in return...to feel like I matter...to belong to someone...something....to be whole again.
Maybe I'm just looking for my place in life...would it be so bad if I were alone...would I ever be happy just watching you from the edge of the crowd...would I ever have the strength to walk away...would I even want to?
The angles of flesh are hard and jut in your face....here taste me...smell me...they scream...but they all feel the same....one scent blends into the next....can't tell where they meet...every arm, face, leg....meld together as one....I want to stand out...to scream at you .....
"This is madness.....please save me!"
but will you listen.....or will you hear what they do...my whisper is softer by the second...I want to be noticed..to be heard...to be important. I don't need you to justify my existence...but I do want you to enrich it....are you up to the challenge?
The end is not near enough...
| Thursday, December 4, 2008 |
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Labels:
blow jobs,
cyber,
frat,
nude,
pissy,
sex,
talking to myself
One final down...5 more to go.../sigh. I really can't wait till next semester, no more writing!! If that doesn't scream orgasm I don't know what does. Seriously, I don't...any ideas?
So I got my frat letters on monday, very excited about that...forgot about the math club meeting yesterday, very bummed about that. I also got dirty santa'd, something I recomend to everyone several times in their life.
I have to ask...what is the thrill about posting nude photos of yourself online? I mean, seriously... what happened to saving a part of ourselves for our partner? Don't get me wrong, I don't mean saving our sex...I happen to be a firm believer in free love, but there's got to be something that's sacred.
So now I have men online begging me for nude photos, and getting pissy when I tell them it's not gonna happen...then they get even more pissy when I tell them I won't suck their dick...virtually or actually...ever...that's just gross...but meh, it's my own preference. It's definitely not something I would do for/to someone I just met.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother with the online life at all...and then I remember I have you and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. --I wonder if it's a bad thing that I talk to myself like this?--
So I got my frat letters on monday, very excited about that...forgot about the math club meeting yesterday, very bummed about that. I also got dirty santa'd, something I recomend to everyone several times in their life.
I have to ask...what is the thrill about posting nude photos of yourself online? I mean, seriously... what happened to saving a part of ourselves for our partner? Don't get me wrong, I don't mean saving our sex...I happen to be a firm believer in free love, but there's got to be something that's sacred.
So now I have men online begging me for nude photos, and getting pissy when I tell them it's not gonna happen...then they get even more pissy when I tell them I won't suck their dick...virtually or actually...ever...that's just gross...but meh, it's my own preference. It's definitely not something I would do for/to someone I just met.
Sometimes I wonder why I bother with the online life at all...and then I remember I have you and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. --I wonder if it's a bad thing that I talk to myself like this?--
Money and love...or am I just paying for sex?
Money is coming in...money I didn't expect...money I could definitely use. I'll spare you the details but it boils down to $2,000 of financial aid money I didn't know I was supposed to get because of a glitch in the system. So I'm sitting here wondering what I should spend it on...
Christmas won't be a big affair here. I'm so tired of the over importance of the "give me". So I'll buy Aidan a couple of things, send Devon a gift card to buy more clothes and that'll be the end of that day.
I'm thinking seriously about going to Washington to visit an online friend of mine. I've known him for about 3 or 4 years now. We flirt shamelessly...mostly because the chance of us meeting is rare and so we're safe. So there's a part of me that wants to believe (but I know better) that when I get there we will click and it will be wonderful and even romantic (or just a lot of hot, sweaty monkey sex - which is quite fine by me thankyouverymuch!)....and yet, even if it's not sexual at all I know that we will still click and it will be wonderful to be with him, because he's an amazing man. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's omg-sexy.
I'm cautiously excited...mostly because I don't have the money and I haven't made the plans yet....I don't want him to feel pressured so I tell him so and remind myself that I don't even have the ticket yet so I should really not worry about it. Besides, by the time I do get the money, the prices will probably have gone up too much and I won't be able to do it.
Figures.
______________________________
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried." ~Mae West
Christmas won't be a big affair here. I'm so tired of the over importance of the "give me". So I'll buy Aidan a couple of things, send Devon a gift card to buy more clothes and that'll be the end of that day.
I'm thinking seriously about going to Washington to visit an online friend of mine. I've known him for about 3 or 4 years now. We flirt shamelessly...mostly because the chance of us meeting is rare and so we're safe. So there's a part of me that wants to believe (but I know better) that when I get there we will click and it will be wonderful and even romantic (or just a lot of hot, sweaty monkey sex - which is quite fine by me thankyouverymuch!)....and yet, even if it's not sexual at all I know that we will still click and it will be wonderful to be with him, because he's an amazing man. Of course it doesn't hurt that he's omg-sexy.
I'm cautiously excited...mostly because I don't have the money and I haven't made the plans yet....I don't want him to feel pressured so I tell him so and remind myself that I don't even have the ticket yet so I should really not worry about it. Besides, by the time I do get the money, the prices will probably have gone up too much and I won't be able to do it.
Figures.
______________________________
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried." ~Mae West
Mathabulous
Is it totally awful that I'm excited to be done with this semester? Not that I don't totally enjoy myself in school...I just think that Anatomy is the devil. Well, my teacher to be exact. As long as I don't completely fail my next exam and the two finals in there, I should manage to squeek by with a decent C and while that doesn't normally make me happy enough to celebrate, I'm willing to host a party for that. It means that I'm done with that class and that it didn't fudge up my overall GPA horrendously. I refuse to take another semester of it so next year I'm doing Physics...(which I actually should have done anyway but I had a previous traumatic experience with it that Anatomy has cured me of).
Next semester though! I have 3 math classes and biology....and this makes me orgasmic. What classes do I have you ask? Well I'll tell you! Calc 2, Linear Algebra, and Mathematical Computations. I may actually pick up one more class because I'm really ready to be done with my Bachelor's as quick as possible. I've got 8 years of school behind me now and 5-6 more ahead of me for my Doctorate....I'm anxious to move on to my next step.
Plus, next semester I get to study less words and more numbers....and that's what it's all about! :)
Is there more?
I keep coming back to my blog to try and write something more...but I keep seeing my last post and nothing seems pertinant anymore. That's really kinda sad, and it bothers me.
I'm planning a trip to NY this summer. I'd love to get a bunch of my online and RL friends together for a weekend or so. I'm even hoping that some of my overseas friends will be able to make it. Gosh that would be the best weekend ever!
I need to go work out and then get some sleep...showed the girls the joy of google tonight *giggle*
EDIT: I have no qualms about putting that link in my blog because no one reads it besides me and I'm well over the age of 18 and don't mind adult material...however, if in the future someone actually starts to read my stuff and they're not at least 18 or are offended by adult material....DON'T CLICK THE LINK! - You've been warned...now quit whining!
Twilight Madness
| Tuesday, November 11, 2008 |
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Labels:
bella,
books,
devore,
edward,
it's complicated,
movie,
twilight,
xkcd
I've ignored it for long enough....and I got bored Friday, so while I was at K-Mart I saw the book, remembered my friends telling me I had to read it, remembered my love of vampire stories (no matter how cheesy), realized I had the $6 in the bank to buy the book so I did. I took it home Friday night and read it. I didn't finish it, but only because it was 2am on Saturday by now and I had to get up at 7am to support my fraternity and eat pancakes. After the pancakey goodness I went home and finished the book in roughly 30-45 minutes.
I really thought it was a good book. Nothing like everyone else's enjoyment/obsession ("OMG I'm going to die because I want Edward to be real so I can live every teenage girl's fantasy!!!") of it, but it was really good. I loved it because it wasn't a vampire story...it was a human story. Yeah ok, I couldn't ignor that the Cullen's were vampires of course, but Stephanie Meyer was amazing at making it real and human. The emotions drew me in...the inner struggles, the complexities, they were deep and real. Even the struggles that Edward had...those internal struggles of a tortured soul, were human (well, aside from the blood drinking thing). The story captured my heart quickly and kept it long after I put the book down.
So now we're into Saturday and I would have been fine. I said I liked the book, not that I was obsessed with it. I would have been able to wait till next payday to buy the next book New Moon....but then I made the mistake of reading the teaser in the back of Twilight....I called my friend then and asked to borrow the next two books. She, of course, said yes and I ran out the door, in my pajamas and dinner in the oven, to her apartment down the street.
I finished New Moon and started on Eclipse Saturday. Sunday was finishing Eclipse and starting on Breaking Dawn. Monday I finished Breaking Dawn and thought I was done. Heaven knows I was exhausted from lack of sleep. Yet I felt so ... alive ... It was almost as if those books renewed a passion in me that had long been dormant....I loved it, but it frustrated me at the same time. You see, a passion like that isn't good if you don't have someone else to share it with *sigh*. Oh well.
I thought for sure I was free of the bonds...but my friends are asking if I'm going to see the movie. I was hesitant because I really feel that the movie would ruin the story for me. They would take the honest and heart felt humanity from it and stuff it full of action, sex, and vampires (not that I would complain...but I really feel like I should protect the story...I don't want it to be corrupted).
So I started surfing around aimlessly, and I remembered a work partner had said something about the trailor being pretty good. He was in the same boat as me...had never heard of the story but was going to the movie because his "it's complicated" girl wanted to go see it. Yeah, I watched the trailor...8 times....I guess I'm going to see the movie. ((Edit: I just watched the trailor again...damn I hate obsessing))
Then I found a gem...Midnight Sun the first half of Twilight written from Edwards point of view. It was amazing to be able to compair the manuscript to the book and fill in the few blanks.
Sometimes I don't like being alone....
So just lock me in a closet till it's over.
I mean really...I just want to curl up in a ball and die this semester. I hate Anatomy and just so you know, I've never been ok with getting a 64 on an exam but in this class for me, that's like getting a friggin' A....too bad I got a 52 on this last one.
I hate anatomy so much....a monkey could do better than me. :(
Calculate Pi by Throwing Frozen Hot Dogs - wikiHow
Calculate Pi by Throwing Frozen Hot Dogs - wikiHow
Throwing a pie in someone's face is good. Throwing food at pi is better. Believe it or not, of all the countless ways to approximate the most prolific irrational number in the universe, there are none quite as interesting or as surprisingly satisfying as throwing perfectly good food around your kitchen. In fewer steps than it takes to circumscribe your house in a circle of baguettes, you, too, can easily add a slice of pi into your dinner menu tonight. The best part is...it really works!
How to Calculate Pi by Throwing Frozen Hot Dogs
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can EditThrowing a pie in someone's face is good. Throwing food at pi is better. Believe it or not, of all the countless ways to approximate the most prolific irrational number in the universe, there are none quite as interesting or as surprisingly satisfying as throwing perfectly good food around your kitchen. In fewer steps than it takes to circumscribe your house in a circle of baguettes, you, too, can easily add a slice of pi into your dinner menu tonight. The best part is...it really works!
Steps
- Select your food item to throw. There are a couple of qualifications. First, it must be long, thin, and straight, like a frozen hot dog, for example. There are lots of other items that fit this criterion including Otter Pops, celery sticks, and churros. (If you simply can't come to grips with throwing perfectly good food, see the Tips section for some additional ideas.) Second, it must be a reasonably stiff item. Third, it should be somewhere between six and eighteen inches long. The experiment can be performed otherwise, but read on, and you will see why this size is optimal.
- Select the spot from where you will throw your mathematical cuisine. You will probably need about 6-10 feet in front of you as you will be throwing straight ahead.
- Clear the area. The place at which you are throwing should be devoid of objects that your food item could possibly run in to. So, if you are throwing in your kitchen, consider moving the table into another room or at least throwing in such a way that your food won't hit the table during its flight.
- Measure the length of your projectile (e.g. your frozen hot dogs). A tape measure should do the trick. Be as accurate as you can, even down to the millimeter, for best results.
- Lay down masking tape in parallel strips across the floor as far apart as your projectile is long. The strips should be perpendicular to the direction you will be throwing (see picture below). Do about 6-10 strips if your item is 6-18 inches long; fewer, if longer; more, if shorter.
- Get a piece of paper and across the top make a column for “Tosses” and another column for "Crosses." The "Tosses" column is to keep track of how many times you throw your food item. The "Crosses" column is to keep track of how many times your item, once it lands and stops moving, is lying across one of the lines.
- Now, get into position, and THROW YOUR FOOD! Throw just one item at a time. Once it is at rest, observe whether or not it is crossing one of the lines. If it is, put a tick under "Crosses" and a tick under "Tosses." If it isn't, just put a tick under "Tosses." Repeat this as many times as you like. You should start seeing some interesting results by around 100 to 200 throws (it doesn't take as long as it sounds, especially if you use a pack of 10 frozen hot dogs so you're not out retrieving the one hot dog after every throw).
- Once you are done throwing your food, multiply the number of tosses by two and divide by the number of crosses. For example, if you threw 500 times, and it crossed 320 times, you would calculate 500 x 2 / 320. And, to your amazement, you will now have an approximation for pi! Now, don't you feel less stressed?
Tips
- For those who are troubled by throwing perfectly good food, consider throwing sticks, dowels, or pencils. In fact, any item will do so long as it is long, thin, straight, and stiff.
- If room is a concern, consider just drawing lines on a piece of paper and dropping toothpicks onto the paper from about three feet up. This definitely is not as refreshing as throwing food across the room, but it works.
- The more the merrier! If two or three throw food together, you will get a better approximation faster because you will be able to get more throws in a shorter amount of time.
- For the mathematically-inclined, this experiment is actually real! The proof and other details can be found at mathworld.wolfram.com: Buffon Needle Problem
- This type of approach (essentially, using random numbers to experimentally solve a problem) is also known as Monte Carlo Simulation.
- A quick estimation of pi is 22/7; a much better one is 355/113 (note the memorable pattern of the digits); an even better estimate than that is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944. Or, you could just press the "pi" key on your calculator.
Warnings
- Remember that this is an experiment, so the idea is not to TRY and get the food to land on one of the lines. Just throw it randomly towards the lines. It should still land amongst them, but don't jinx the experiment by encouraging your dinner to land onto the tape.
- Resist the temptation to use bananas. Not only are they not really straight, but they really won't last more than 50 throws before creating a big mess. Really.
- Though there is no food that is more fun to throw than hot dogs, the math buff will note that greater accuracy will be found the thinner the lines of tape and the thinner the food. Try uncooked spaghetti sticks, for example, for greater accuracy.
- Hitting someone in the eye with a hot dog, especially if it is frozen, is generally not a good idea.
- Also if you have a pet (aka dog or cat), they may feel inclined to eat the hot dogs, and thus ruin your experiment. Try putting them outside (or in another room if they have to stay inside) for this experiment.
Things You'll Need
- Pen and Paper
- Masking Tape
- Calculator
- Long, Thin, Straight, Stiff Food. Preferably a pack of frozen hot dogs
Related wikiHows
- How to Memorize Pi
- How to Celebrate Pi Day
- How to Calculate the Area of a Circle
- How to Find a Gift for a Self Proclaimed Nerd or Geek
- How to Write an Ode About Math
- How to Calculate Your Age by Chocolate
- How to Add 5 Consecutive Numbers Quickly
Sources and Citations
- This article is a humorous rendition of a real experiment called the Buffon Needle Problem
- A Buffon Approximation Experiment lesson plan for classrooms
- An applet simulating the experiment
Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Calculate Pi by Throwing Frozen Hot Dogs. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.
Negligable
so they don't understand....why the crimson sky is now green. why to lights have shimmered out to a pale orange and then nothing. why her tears never stop. the pain is silly some say. silly, pointless, unnecessary, but real. it's not a new thing, crying. her eyes itch for an eternity. maybe a lump in her throat she can't swallow. the tears are a welcome release. one lone trailblazer trickles down her cheek and hangs precious seconds before release from her jaw. nothing new really. but the pain in her chest. caused by his tongue, mouth, hands, feet. she should laugh at him really. no sense does he make. but the words...cut through her armor....one at a time. make her doubt. make her wonder. she wants to close her eyes and forget. the pain from his touches and words. it just gets worse. sounds echo in her head. all she hears now...you're not worthy, you're ugly, you're fat, you're stupid, you don't deserve anything....and she cries. she wonders.
I'm here to tell you something. You are worth it, you're beautiful, you're brilliant, and you will forget about him. He's going to go through life looking back and wondering what happened to you. Cursing himself for not keeping you. He's going to be the one to cry.
I'm sorry he hurt you.
I'm here to tell you something. You are worth it, you're beautiful, you're brilliant, and you will forget about him. He's going to go through life looking back and wondering what happened to you. Cursing himself for not keeping you. He's going to be the one to cry.
I'm sorry he hurt you.
Turbulence
The planets are out of alignment or something. Maybe someone pissed in my cheerios the last week...except that I don't eat cheerios so there goes that theory.
I'm sitting here making ghost-pops for homecoming tomorrow...I'm doing this alone while the other group members are off doing god knows what with god knows who. There are a lot of lollipops and I'm low on Kleenex. Which means that they'll be by late to bring me more tissues, help me make the rest of the pops and then leave. Which means I'll be up till god know when yet again...and I don't even have an exam in the morning.
Tomorrow I've promised 4 of us to help another group at homecoming...I don't even know if we'll have enough to sit at our own booth.
I don't really know what's wrong with me lately...maybe my time of the month except I don't have those anymore...I'm feeling super pissy about every little thing. I don't feel like I'm getting enough help with anything from anybody. I almost am starting to feel overwhelm because when I do get a little bit of free time I should be making phone calls and scheduling classes to make some money but all I want to do is throw myself on the bed and hide from the world. I was even pissy at the bug today, and he doesn't deserve it at all.
I tried to surround myself with friends and that's fine for a little while, but honestly I'm just faking it. I don't want to be around them. I want to be around my online friends and joke and laugh and word spar for hours. I want to stay up until 4am and then sleep in until I feel like getting up out of bed. But that's not gonna happen....not even close.
So I guess I'll play a little Jason Mraz, feel a little lonely, wallow in self-pity for a regulated amount of time and then go to bed. That should do the trick....right?
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried." ~Mae West
I'm sitting here making ghost-pops for homecoming tomorrow...I'm doing this alone while the other group members are off doing god knows what with god knows who. There are a lot of lollipops and I'm low on Kleenex. Which means that they'll be by late to bring me more tissues, help me make the rest of the pops and then leave. Which means I'll be up till god know when yet again...and I don't even have an exam in the morning.
Tomorrow I've promised 4 of us to help another group at homecoming...I don't even know if we'll have enough to sit at our own booth.
I don't really know what's wrong with me lately...maybe my time of the month except I don't have those anymore...I'm feeling super pissy about every little thing. I don't feel like I'm getting enough help with anything from anybody. I almost am starting to feel overwhelm because when I do get a little bit of free time I should be making phone calls and scheduling classes to make some money but all I want to do is throw myself on the bed and hide from the world. I was even pissy at the bug today, and he doesn't deserve it at all.
I tried to surround myself with friends and that's fine for a little while, but honestly I'm just faking it. I don't want to be around them. I want to be around my online friends and joke and laugh and word spar for hours. I want to stay up until 4am and then sleep in until I feel like getting up out of bed. But that's not gonna happen....not even close.
So I guess I'll play a little Jason Mraz, feel a little lonely, wallow in self-pity for a regulated amount of time and then go to bed. That should do the trick....right?
"Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried." ~Mae West
The Invitation
| Saturday, October 11, 2008 |
0
comments
|
Labels:
life,
love,
native american,
poetry,
quotes,
sayings
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
~Oriah Mountain Dreamer~
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
~Oriah Mountain Dreamer~
It burns...
| Friday, October 10, 2008 |
0
comments
|
Labels:
anatomy,
biology,
body oder,
classes,
dr. f,
drag queen,
math,
otaku,
religion,
school,
swg,
wolverine doll
My eyes are burning and I have no idea what I'm doing up at this hour... I lied, I know why. It's because it's Friday and I didn't have anything scheduled to do tonight and I felt lost. So instead of cracking open a book to study for midterms next week, I've decided to seer my eyeballs to the screen of my laptop.
I actually had every intention of sloughing off completely and playing a little bit of SWG but that didn't work out the way I planned. I ended up doing work for the group.... and yet I'm sure I missed something...I need to get my notepad out and start writing things down again. Just having my calendar online isn't enough apparently. I wish it were more portable.
I love my fabulous Wolverine doll....but...he smells funny. Like a combination of funny weed, alcohol, cigarettes, half dried blood, and ass. I guess that's a work hazard. He's an amazing person. I love him to pieces. God love Otaku for dating him.
I've been thinking in numbers lately....and random vocabulary words, like ahimsa and moksa (sp?) and puja. Wondering if Dr. F. will ever get tired of all the disrespect those kids give him and tell them to shut the f up....or will I snap first? My heart goes out to him. He's an awesome teacher, but these kids have no respect anymore...
I'm definately not taking BIO with the same teacher next semester. This guy is quite off his rocker if I may be so bold. He makes my skin crawl....aside from that, he's a pretty decent teacher...God love my drag queen for giving me his notes - and desktop photos and other random things I spy on his computer lol.
Anatomy...I'd be insane to take it again next semester with the same teacher....but once you have one teacher you get used to them....but dangit he's got so much we have to know...and it's all over the place!
I miss my girls...they got to go to pidgeon forge without me. I hate being broke.
I hate that my mother is in a completely different state, living in her car, no job, no home, no money and I don't have any money to be able to help her.
I actually had every intention of sloughing off completely and playing a little bit of SWG but that didn't work out the way I planned. I ended up doing work for the group.... and yet I'm sure I missed something...I need to get my notepad out and start writing things down again. Just having my calendar online isn't enough apparently. I wish it were more portable.
I love my fabulous Wolverine doll....but...he smells funny. Like a combination of funny weed, alcohol, cigarettes, half dried blood, and ass. I guess that's a work hazard. He's an amazing person. I love him to pieces. God love Otaku for dating him.
I've been thinking in numbers lately....and random vocabulary words, like ahimsa and moksa (sp?) and puja. Wondering if Dr. F. will ever get tired of all the disrespect those kids give him and tell them to shut the f up....or will I snap first? My heart goes out to him. He's an awesome teacher, but these kids have no respect anymore...
I'm definately not taking BIO with the same teacher next semester. This guy is quite off his rocker if I may be so bold. He makes my skin crawl....aside from that, he's a pretty decent teacher...God love my drag queen for giving me his notes - and desktop photos and other random things I spy on his computer lol.
Anatomy...I'd be insane to take it again next semester with the same teacher....but once you have one teacher you get used to them....but dangit he's got so much we have to know...and it's all over the place!
I miss my girls...they got to go to pidgeon forge without me. I hate being broke.
I hate that my mother is in a completely different state, living in her car, no job, no home, no money and I don't have any money to be able to help her.
Since September 2008
