DINKLEBURG!!!!

Apparently we're blaming all of our troubles on him for the next week or so.  For example:  "I have a test in 45 minutes and instead of studying I'm surfing the interwebs....DINKLEBURG!!!!"

Other than that, there's been a lot going on.  I feel, once again, that I have to step up and do other people's jobs and I hate it.  I know there are other people who could be doing this...like the person who's job it is to do it.  I'm not going to go on more about it right now...what I keep reminding myself is that I only have 2.5 more months before I graduate (dear Lord, is it really that short amount of time!?  This is the first time I actually counted the months *sweat*) and then I'll (hopefully) be a grad student and alumni and won't have all these responsibilities on my shoulders...they'll belong to someone else...right?

And now I have 15 minutes before my exam...where did the time go???  Ugh, time to leave you.

Shhh. I'm joining the ninja choir.

We have to harmonize in silence. So shush.

LOL, I love Sleep Talkin' Man....he makes me giggle.

I'm sitting on the couch of a friend that I haven't seen in 12 years.  I miss her...and I miss Louisiana.  I'm actually talking to her about moving back down.  Tomorrow I'm going to spend the night with my sister and see her for the first time in a year.  I miss my nieces so much.

I totally cut the first day of class yesterday just so I can be down here for the weekend.  I had to look over the curriculum online for my 4 classes and I freaked a little.  Here I thought that my final semester was going to be easy.  One class requires a 20 page paper.  One class requires 2 projects and 5 labs, and one class requires another paper.  I'm a math major...I shouldn't have to be writing!!!

Ugh, but I have to say...I'm really excited about this semester.  In May, I graduate....and I have no idea what I'm going to do.  I'm looking for a civil service job to jump into but in the meantime I want to look into substitute teaching for now so I can get some supplemental income.

I'm exhausted.  I really should write more.  I will, I hope.

I'm Afraid..

of going to sleep...because apparently I might miss something.  Ugh.  I could have fallen asleep 4 hours ago because I was tired, but I didn't.  Why?  Hellfire if I know!  Maybe I should start reading again before bed.  Oh I miss the days when I was tired of my computer.  You remember don't you?  The days when I spent so much time here for school I shunned it all when the semester ended.  Oh those days will be here soon.  In the meantime, I have to get myself unbored.  You see, when I'm bored then I get in a rut and I don't want to do anything or go anywhere or see anyone or any variation of anything.

I need to start reading to the leech at bedtime again.  We're halfway through Alice's Adventures.  I love Lewis Carroll (aka Charles Dodson).  He made math whimsical and fun for everyone.  I also love this book.  It gives a brief history of his mathematical life and a chronology of his work.


Well, I guess there's not much more to say is there.  Maybe I should go write that essay tonight and get it out of the way.  You know...since I'm up and everything.  Then if I get that done I can either go to bed or rewatch the pilot episode of Doctor Who.  Hmm, it's tempting to skip the essay lol...ugh, I'm terrible!!!

Today

Today was pretty good I think.  Even though I almost had a meltdown.

I almost cried in my Physics lab.  It was stupid and I think my hormones must be raging.  Kinda hard to tell when you don't bleed anymore.

So I'm sitting there, in the dark cause we're doing an optics lab, and I'm writing really slow.  It was a quick lab, I should have been out of there in 30 minutes but for some reason my brain just didn't want to keep up with the guys.  We have a new lab partner and when I asked a question she explained it to me.  5 minutes later, I'm asking the same question.  I felt stupid but, bless her heart, she didn't seem frustrated with me at all and continued to try and explain it to me.

I was getting so flipping frustrated with myself because it should have been really easy.  I mean, I've done this stuff before but it just wasn't registering with me.  I felt my eyes start to water and just pretended I understood so we could move on.  Thankfully, Michael is extremely patient with me and understands what I need so he just wrote the equations down for me and I copied them.  Then he stayed another 10 or 15 minutes after to help me finish getting my data and catching up ... after our other 2 lab partners had left.  I love him.  I'm so sad that we won't have any more classes together anymore.

Then I go to financial aide to make sure I'm going to get money to go to school this summer.  Well I am...but it's not even enough to pay for my 2 classes that I'm signed up for.  So I have to come up with about $500 to pay for classes plus my summer rent...because I found out that I can't get out of my housing contract until August.  So not only do I have to find a job that will pay me enough to pay for all of this while working part time and also working with my schedule when I start my research internship in June but I have to figure out how we're going to get Victoria into the apartment in June without me being able to help out.

I'm sure we could wait till August, but the manager said she wasn't sure any apartments would be open in August for us.  They have one opening in June and we were going to take that one....until all these things got thrown up in my face.

On the plus side!  I got to help the leech with his science fair project.  He's measuring the distance a Hot Wheels car slides on different surfaces (wood floor, carpet, cement, grass) when released from a ramp.  We did the wood floor and carpet tonight.  I think we'll have to redo the carpet at Victoria's though, just so I can get a better picture.  The outside distances we'll do hopefully tomorrow or Friday when it dries up outside.  Can you believe we had HAIL today?!  It's crazy.

I managed to type up a list of definitions for my Numerical Linear Algebra final in LaTex.  Which was kinda fun to figure out.  I also met with my research professor today and we discussed our summer schedule and my next step to writing my article.

We won our first softball game yesterday (that's me, #13!).  It was pretty exciting! It was officially 13-9, but we actually had 16.  Someone in the score-box screwed up.  I'm not complaining at all...I just like to be correct.  We went out to Dairy Queen afterwords.  It was a lot of fun and I can't wait for next week's game!  Maybe I'll actually catch the balls that come my way lol.  I dropped the 2 that did yesterday.  It was a bit frustrating.

I know my blog isn't read by many...but if you would do me a favor and say a little prayer for me that everything works out without much trouble.  I'd really appreciate it.

Chaos

I'm telling everyone.

I made chaos today.  When I was done I just wanted to curl up in a hole and die because I was so drained, physically and mentally...but damn it's a beautiful thing.  Don't you think so too??

Nerves

I'm sitting here and it's almost 8pm on a Monday. A lot's happened to me I guess.

My back has been killing me. I think I mentioned about 3 months ago that I finally went in to get it checked out? 3 months that included muscle relaxers, a hormone, and anti-inflammatories later...and my back still feels the same way. I'm worried about Scolosis. I'm worried about a lot of other things too. I'm going in tomorrow morning to see the doctor again and this time I'm not going to let them put me on any medication without running tests so I know what's wrong. I'm a little nervous because as outspoken as I am...I usually just smile and nod while at the doctor. I don't know why...I just do.

I'm thinking about my undergraduate research that I have to do next semester. Finally realized that I want to get my master's in statistics so I need some undergrad stuff that flows into a master's thesis. Had a nice talk with Dr. A today and he wants me to add one of his classes - yes I know it's a month into the semester already. Yes I know I already have 14 credit hours not counting the Graph Theory class that I'm sitting in on without getting a grade.

I've been assured that this class will prepare me to do research with him next semester. Also, we only meet for 4 weeks and it should be a fairly easy A. Lord knows I can use as many of those as I can get. So I go tomorrow to submit a late add form for this class.

Dr. A's also informed me that I need to do an internship this summer in biostatistics. I have to say it sounds positively amazing and I would love to be able to do something like this. There's just a few things I'm worried about. They want a copy of my transcript...I've got a few grades that aren't so hot. Granted I've retaken all of my math classes that I needed to and significantly raised those grades (from an F to a B+) but it still makes me nervous. I also need 2 letters of recommendation. I know Dr. B will give me one, but I don't know any other teacher well enough to ask. Maybe I'll ask Dr. F if he'd mind. I know he likes me.

Also, I have to make sure I don't lose my campus housing while I'm gone and I need to find somewhere to stick my son for 6-7 weeks.

If all of the above work out, I could either be in Boston, Atlanta, S. Florida, Pittsburgh, Washington, or North Carolina. I'm really cautiously excited about this.

I need to finish my statistics homework now and put the leech to bed. G'night all.

Mathabulous

Is it totally awful that I'm excited to be done with this semester?  Not that I don't totally enjoy myself in school...I just think that Anatomy is the devil.  Well, my teacher to be exact.  As long as I don't completely fail my next exam and the two finals in there, I should manage to squeek by with a decent C and while that doesn't normally make me happy enough to celebrate, I'm willing to host a party for that.  It means that I'm done with that class and that it didn't fudge up my overall GPA horrendously.  I refuse to take another semester of it so next year I'm doing Physics...(which I actually should have done anyway but I had a previous traumatic experience with it that Anatomy has cured me of).

Next semester though!  I have 3 math classes and biology....and this makes me orgasmic.  What classes do I have you ask?  Well I'll tell you!  Calc 2, Linear Algebra, and Mathematical Computations.  I may actually pick up one more class because I'm really ready to be done with my Bachelor's as quick as possible.  I've got 8 years of school behind me now and 5-6 more ahead of me for my Doctorate....I'm anxious to move on to my next step.

Plus, next semester I get to study less words and more numbers....and that's what it's all about! :)

It burns...

My eyes are burning and I have no idea what I'm doing up at this hour... I lied, I know why. It's because it's Friday and I didn't have anything scheduled to do tonight and I felt lost. So instead of cracking open a book to study for midterms next week, I've decided to seer my eyeballs to the screen of my laptop.

I actually had every intention of sloughing off completely and playing a little bit of SWG but that didn't work out the way I planned. I ended up doing work for the group.... and yet I'm sure I missed something...I need to get my notepad out and start writing things down again. Just having my calendar online isn't enough apparently. I wish it were more portable.

I love my fabulous Wolverine doll....but...he smells funny. Like a combination of funny weed, alcohol, cigarettes, half dried blood, and ass. I guess that's a work hazard. He's an amazing person. I love him to pieces. God love Otaku for dating him.

I've been thinking in numbers lately....and random vocabulary words, like ahimsa and moksa (sp?) and puja. Wondering if Dr. F. will ever get tired of all the disrespect those kids give him and tell them to shut the f up....or will I snap first? My heart goes out to him. He's an awesome teacher, but these kids have no respect anymore...

I'm definately not taking BIO with the same teacher next semester. This guy is quite off his rocker if I may be so bold. He makes my skin crawl....aside from that, he's a pretty decent teacher...God love my drag queen for giving me his notes - and desktop photos and other random things I spy on his computer lol.

Anatomy...I'd be insane to take it again next semester with the same teacher....but once you have one teacher you get used to them....but dangit he's got so much we have to know...and it's all over the place!

I miss my girls...they got to go to pidgeon forge without me. I hate being broke.

I hate that my mother is in a completely different state, living in her car, no job, no home, no money and I don't have any money to be able to help her.