It's 2010

Last year went really good. It started out good and it built up steamy goodness until the middle of November when my world just came crashing down around me when he said goodbye. From then on it's been a daily struggle to just make it through to the next day. I think I've managed it pretty well actually.

I'm sitting here, on the first day of the new year, with an odd calm around me. I just got done telling someone that he shouldn't settle for me just because he's lonely. How I feel about him is neither here nor there. I refuse to put my heart in the care of someone unless I'm certain that he's willing to take care of it .. and is ok with the baggage I'm bringing. Thanks to my ex, I now worry about my significant other being faithful and if I'll ever be enough for someone and lots of other random things that no man should have to deal with unless they are the cause of it. It's not fair to anyone.

So while I'm healing my heart and my soul I hope that eventually there is someone out there who wants me for who I am and will let me love them in the special way that I do. Wholly and without reservations. Someone who will help heal my trust issues with patience and understanding. Someone who actually deserves me.

One day...I'm hopeful. But for now, I'll just count my blessings, be thankful for my friends, and work on fixing myself.

<3