I should be studying for my Differential Equations quiz in 2 hours. I will...I just need to get this out.
This morning as I was leaving for class I looked down at my task bar and saw that Eric had logged out of Yahoo. My heart momentarily stopped and I was filled with conflicting emotions. First of all, that I had logged onto Yahoo and not noticed he was on is a huge deal. I can remember the days when that was the first thing I looked for and how disappointed I would be if he wasn't there. Secondly, I was a little upset and hurt that he saw me log on but didn't say anything.
So I spent the whole day with him on my mind. Not something I wanted to do, I promise. A part of me wanted to rush home and wait and see if he'd log back on like I used to do. The new me recognized these feelings and let them go. I'm not waiting around for anyone anymore. Especially someone who has made it very clear that they don't want to be with me.
This is me living my life and not desperately chasing after someone who may or may not want to talk to me. If you want me, you've got to come get me damnit.
Now I'm off to study.
I wonder
| Monday, February 8, 2010 |
|
Labels:
accountability,
blogging,
changes,
classes,
exams,
letting go
1 comments:
February 8, 2010 at 2:31 PM
I'm proud of you, love.
I know it's been a journey, and I'm really glad I got to witness it, even if the circumstances were not what either of us would have chosen for you. I can tell a big difference in you and I think that you are going to come out of this as an even more amazing person than you started out as (is that even possible!?!?).
Not sure that sounds like I want it to but I trust you to interpret what I mean and not just what I say.
I love you.
Don't worry overmuch about being affected. You're not superwoman.... yet! ;)
Post a Comment