Is a bear catholic?!

Apparently they are lol.

I've finished 12 pages of my research paper tonight.  In case you didn't know, I'm writing about the time series analysis of monthly mortality data from pneumonia and influenza.  No that's not the working title of it lol.  I've still got about a section and a half to do and I need to compile a list of resources.  And if you didn't know, I'm writing this article in LaTex.  I have never used this program before so I'm learning as I go....and I'm totally having fun with it.  I'm such a nerd.

On a different note, I'm really really enjoying his company.  It's slightly frustrating that because of the slight distance I can't see him when I want to but on the other hand, I kinda like that too.

I can't wait for Friday so I can let my left brain rest for a little while. 

I'm also putting in a lot of prayers to the boss upstairs about helping me with my financial issues at the moment.  I'd really like to make enough to pay my rent for May and pay the rest of my tuition.

Time for sleep.  I'm almost giddy with the idea that the semester is almost over....

Faith

I have faith in my Brothers to do what is right, and I trust in our governing documents to take care of things when they don't.

That's all I can say about that...but it's been a very long, emotionally draining night.

Today

Today was pretty good I think.  Even though I almost had a meltdown.

I almost cried in my Physics lab.  It was stupid and I think my hormones must be raging.  Kinda hard to tell when you don't bleed anymore.

So I'm sitting there, in the dark cause we're doing an optics lab, and I'm writing really slow.  It was a quick lab, I should have been out of there in 30 minutes but for some reason my brain just didn't want to keep up with the guys.  We have a new lab partner and when I asked a question she explained it to me.  5 minutes later, I'm asking the same question.  I felt stupid but, bless her heart, she didn't seem frustrated with me at all and continued to try and explain it to me.

I was getting so flipping frustrated with myself because it should have been really easy.  I mean, I've done this stuff before but it just wasn't registering with me.  I felt my eyes start to water and just pretended I understood so we could move on.  Thankfully, Michael is extremely patient with me and understands what I need so he just wrote the equations down for me and I copied them.  Then he stayed another 10 or 15 minutes after to help me finish getting my data and catching up ... after our other 2 lab partners had left.  I love him.  I'm so sad that we won't have any more classes together anymore.

Then I go to financial aide to make sure I'm going to get money to go to school this summer.  Well I am...but it's not even enough to pay for my 2 classes that I'm signed up for.  So I have to come up with about $500 to pay for classes plus my summer rent...because I found out that I can't get out of my housing contract until August.  So not only do I have to find a job that will pay me enough to pay for all of this while working part time and also working with my schedule when I start my research internship in June but I have to figure out how we're going to get Victoria into the apartment in June without me being able to help out.

I'm sure we could wait till August, but the manager said she wasn't sure any apartments would be open in August for us.  They have one opening in June and we were going to take that one....until all these things got thrown up in my face.

On the plus side!  I got to help the leech with his science fair project.  He's measuring the distance a Hot Wheels car slides on different surfaces (wood floor, carpet, cement, grass) when released from a ramp.  We did the wood floor and carpet tonight.  I think we'll have to redo the carpet at Victoria's though, just so I can get a better picture.  The outside distances we'll do hopefully tomorrow or Friday when it dries up outside.  Can you believe we had HAIL today?!  It's crazy.

I managed to type up a list of definitions for my Numerical Linear Algebra final in LaTex.  Which was kinda fun to figure out.  I also met with my research professor today and we discussed our summer schedule and my next step to writing my article.

We won our first softball game yesterday (that's me, #13!).  It was pretty exciting! It was officially 13-9, but we actually had 16.  Someone in the score-box screwed up.  I'm not complaining at all...I just like to be correct.  We went out to Dairy Queen afterwords.  It was a lot of fun and I can't wait for next week's game!  Maybe I'll actually catch the balls that come my way lol.  I dropped the 2 that did yesterday.  It was a bit frustrating.

I know my blog isn't read by many...but if you would do me a favor and say a little prayer for me that everything works out without much trouble.  I'd really appreciate it.

Post Script

I'm officially declared with a Psychology minor.

My back hurts today and I really need to stretch before the game.

I had a whole list of things I was going to put but as soon as the blank page opened up begging me for words....they all ran away *sigh*.

Oh!  But I found this gem of a site.  I had a mini nerd-gasm.

Geek 2 Geek - "The best place on the net to meet geeks".

To play or not to play

It's not really a question.  I promise!

Today is my first softball game ever...and it's raining...lol.

Just for fun

So I'm thinking about making a new D&D character and I'm not exactly sure what to pick.  Thankfully I found this site that asked me 129 questions and now knows exactly what I should be!!! (did you hear the sarcasm? lol, I really did enjoy this and it honestly tells a lot about my personality I think).

Enjoy!

I Am A: Lawful Neutral Human Monk (4th Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-11

Dexterity-11

Constitution-11

Intelligence-13

Wisdom-14

Charisma-13

Alignment:
Lawful Neutral A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs him. Order and organization are paramount to him. He may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or he may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot. However, lawful neutral can be a dangerous alignment because it seeks to eliminate all freedom, choice, and diversity in society.


Race:
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.


Class:
Monks are versatile warriors skilled at fighting without weapons or armor. Good-aligned monks serve as protectors of the people, while evil monks make ideal spies and assassins. Though they don't cast spells, monks channel a subtle energy, called ki. This energy allows them to perform amazing feats, such as healing themselves, catching arrows in flight, and dodging blows with lightning speed. Their mundane and ki-based abilities grow with experience, granting them more power over themselves and their environment. Monks suffer unique penalties to their abilities if they wear armor, as doing so violates their rigid oath. A monk wearing armor loses their Wisdom and level based armor class bonuses, their movement speed, and their additional unarmed attacks per round.


Detailed Results:

Alignment:
Lawful Good ----- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (21)
Neutral Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (17)
Chaotic Good ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (15)
Lawful Neutral -- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (29)
True Neutral ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (25)
Chaotic Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (23)
Lawful Evil ----- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Neutral Evil ---- XXXXXXX (7)
Chaotic Evil ---- XXXXX (5)

Law & Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Neutral - XXXXXXX (7)
Chaos --- XXXXX (5)

Good & Evil:
Good ---- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Neutral - XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (18)
Evil ---- (0)

Race:
Human ---- XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Dwarf ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Elf ------ XXXXXXXXXXXX (12)
Gnome ---- XXXXXXXX (8)
Halfling - XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Elf - XXXXXXXXX (9)
Half-Orc - XXXX (4)

Class:
Barbarian - (-29)
Bard ------ (-17)
Cleric ---- XXXX (4)
Druid ----- (0)
Fighter --- (-4)
Monk ------ XXXXXX (6)
Paladin --- (-21)
Ranger ---- XXXX (4)
Rogue ----- (-4)
Sorcerer -- (-2)
Wizard ---- (0)


Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Late night ramblings

It's been awhile.  I'm sorry you missed me.  Everyone has, you're not special.  Well, you are of course...very special...just not that you're the only one who missed me cause you're not.  Even Victoria misses me and we live nearby.

So...what to say?

I've been so busy.  I'm barely hanging on.  I started out the semester so strongly and even by the middle I was still on top of everything.  One week left and I'm praying that I can keep it together long enough for finals.  Ugh.

The research is going well...slowly but well.  If I weren't bogged down by classes I'd have time to be able to really understand what I was doing.  I got denied to all of my summer internships that I applied for out of state.  I even got semi-denied for the one here on campus (I got slotted as one of four alternates).  Needless to say, things weren't looking very good for me.  However, someone had my back because everything started to fall into place.  I got moved into the program and off of the wait list.  Victoria and I are also moving in June instead of August.  I even found 2 classes in pre-summer session that I can take (now I just have to pray that I actually get financial aide this summer or I'll have a whole new slew of problems).

Through all of this I even decided on a minor...Psychology.  Heck, when I'm finished with my degree I can get a Masters in counseling.  It's something I keep coming back to.  I'm scared about detouring my life so completely right now though so I'll be finishing my degree in Math.  Besides, I really do like statistics.  So I'll get my Ph.D in that and then work on that Masters in Psychology.  Then I can do my own statistical research on my clients LOL.

I really should go to bed though.  It's getting late and I've got a lot going on this weekend.  I've jumped head-long into helping my chapter struggle onto their own two feet again.  I really believe we can do this and move through our issues.  Unfortunately, that doesn't leave much time to breathe.  I'll just leave you with a list of things that demand my time lately...then I'm going to bed.

• kids
• school
• fraternity
• research
• internships
• softball
• baseball (son's)
• church
• friends - a particular friend who had to have emergency surgery to remove a mass from her spine
• math club (the technical term for this is the Mathematical Association of America, Student Chapter but that's just really a mouthful isn't it?)
• stupid people disrespecting my son and myself
• my right brain demanding to be used
• getting ready to move
• and at this point I'm really trying to find more stuff to add to the list - because obviously the list isn't long enough is it?

Knows or nose?

It's only a canvas sky, hanging over a muslin tree.

But it wouldn't be make believe if you believed in me.

The day is over...it's time to dance.

Convenience

I have this nifty new gadget in my iGoogle homepage that lets me blog on any of my blogs with indescribable easiness.

I may just blog more...maybe? lol.

Later....later...I'm busy now.

Chaos

I'm telling everyone.

I made chaos today.  When I was done I just wanted to curl up in a hole and die because I was so drained, physically and mentally...but damn it's a beautiful thing.  Don't you think so too??

Vulnerable

I don't know how.  Wouldn't it be perfect that that's what I've been missing all this time?  It seems like desperation to me.  "Look at me.  Love me.  I can't live without your approval."  I'm sorry but I know the world doesn't revolve around me.

Am I scared?  Petrified even.  I won't show you though.  I don't know how to let anyone in that much.  Vulnerability is a feminine trait.  Does it make me less desirable because I don't need your validation?

And even now, I can't find the words to express what I feel.  I hate this because I'm probably just being selfish anyway.

Please??

I'm begging...just give me some time to breathe before you pile yet another urgent request on me.  I have things I need to do too ya'know?

Welcome to Denmark, we have hot men!

Just  a couple of pics from my trip.

Me 'n Viktoria at the castle in Hillerod:

Me, Robert, Viktoria, 'n Vincent drunk in the Copenhagen train station:

Robert, Me, 'n Vincent at The Happy Pig:

Pocket full of happiness

 Yup, I have it.  I'm currently in Denmark if you didn't know.  I love it.  The architecture is so simple and amazing in its simplicity.  The people are so easy going and nice...and my friends...are the best.  I'm so glad I was able to do this trip - even though the sex museum was closed lol.

Viktoria, is so full of vitality and fun.  Vincent is so proper at first glance but is such a wonderful guy.  Robert is..everything I've come to know the last 5 years of knowing him.  I feel so comfortable here with them.  There hasn't been the slightest bit of awkwardness or uncomfortableness that I've known before from meeting people that I've met online.  I think it's because I've known them for so long online.  Regardless, these are three friends that will always have a special place in my heart...no matter where life takes us.

There is a bit of ... confusion ... I think, going on inside of me though.  I didn't come here with any expectations of my relationship with Robert other than being wonderful friends...but there have been a couple of moments when he and I have been alone, just talking, and I'll catch myself wanting to kiss him.  It's a bit of a shock...not much, considering our history...but..I really thought I was over that part of it.  I've been able to catch that feeling and let it go though so there's no uncomfortableness or anything.  Plus, I'm not going to do anything about it.  I'm done being the one who makes the first move. 

Everyone is asleep and I'm not tired.  Of course, it's only 8:40pm in the states and in Denmark it's 2:40.  I should go to sleep soon.  Viktoria passed her sickness to Robert and I ... and I'm going to need all the rest I can get to fight it off.  Tomorrow will be nice, we're just going to hang around the house until we take Viktoria to the train station and then go visit 3 more friends that I've met online.  I'm a little nervous about this meeting because while I met them years ago, around the same time I met Robert, I don't really know them.  We'll see.  If it gets weird I've got Vincent to talk to lol.

Think I'm gonna go surf the interwebs for awhile before I fall asleep.  Hope everyone is having a great week.  I'll be home the evening of the 13th.  Try not to miss me.

2/22

Yes, that's the date.  It made me smile all day when I wrote it.  I don't know why, it just did. 

Long day...it's after 11pm and I should go to bed.  I will...after this.  I finally did everything I needed to do for the internships.  Now I'm just waiting on Dr. A to give me his notes on my first draft of the statement of intent so I can polish it up and actually send in the applications for them.

I feel like having another cup of tea...I think I will.  Some chamomile to be exact.  Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!

Back while it's in the microwave...now, where was I?  Oh ... I haven't done my lab report that's due Thursday...and I have a project due on Friday for numerical linear algebra.  I've started my research for Dr. A.  I'm tabulating the number of pneumonia and influenza deaths in 122 US cities from 1994-the present.  The hardest part is sifting through the thousands of pages to find the singular table for each week of the specific year I need.  I'm supposed to just turn in the data for one year every week...I've done two years this week so far.  Is it bad that I'd rather do this than study?

Speaking of studying...I got a 15% on my differential equations exam last week.  I'm so upset with myself right now.  I guess I can't be too surprised since I pretty much waited until the last minute to study.  I wish I could get out of that habit *sigh*.

I had a blast for my birthday though.  Twenty friends showed up for dinner at Stir Fry Cafe and then about 10 made it to New Beginnings later that night.  I had the best outfit on and got to wear my green plaid mini-skirt finally!  All the drag queens wished me a happy birthday - and by that I mean only one of them did...but she was gorgeous so I'm only counting her as one lol.

Oh wait...gotta go sweeten up my tea...

Ok back..ugh, I have to remember to mail off those bills - can you tell I just saw them?

I guess I really don't have anything else to say now.  I need to take a pill and do my stretches so when my physical therapist asks if I've been doing them I don't have to lie.  It's not my fault!  By the time I finally make it to bed I'm so exhausted I don't want to do anything but curl up under the covers and pass out. 

Okay, okay...I'm going!  G'night my dears.

<3

It's my birthday!

and I'll sleep in, eat sushi, and go to a gay bar just for a drag show if I want to!!!

ps...thank you birthday gods for the sunshine :)

I forgot...*sigh*

So I gave up meat for Lent.  Today's the first day of Lent.  I bought a chicken carbonara sandwich from Quiznos...we're gonna pretend that today is Sunday lol.

Today's Rants:

1. A week full of fail that's only half over *sigh*
2. Classes that are colder than the outside with the falling snow.
3. Having to wear heels for 12 hours today...my poor feet.
4. Getting flirted with by sexy men ... in a friendly way.
5. Not having enough time to spend with my son.
6. Being too tired to study for exams in the morning.
7. Giving up meat for Lent and then forgetting on the first day and eating chicken....

Can I have a redo on this week please?

Today's Happys:

1. Getting to see Victoria randomly two times today!
2. Getting gluten free communion.
3. Evolution Sunday and learning how to embrace my inner fish.
4. Mardi Gras celebration at church.
5. Dancing with my son.
6. Being told that I'm loved in spite of my loud, in-your-face personality because I'm a wonderfully caring and loving person.
7. Realizing that people actually take the time to see the other side of me.
8. Having 2 Drag Queen performances at the gay bar we're going to for my birthday on Saturday!
9. Finding new music.

Fat Tuesday!

Happy fat tuesday everyone.  Tomorrow's Lent...don't forget!

I should be working on homework, but I just need a moment to unwind after a long day.  I went to my new class today.  It was really interested.  Basic statistics with a biological twist to it.  Which is kinda funny, cause Biology and I don't get along lol.  Right after that class I met with Dr. A about starting my research for the Quantitative Biology class.  I've got to give him the yearly totals for pneumonia and influenza deaths in 122 U.S. cities since 1982.  I'll probably start on that tomorrow or Thursday. 

After that I went to physical therapy and while it was painful to start with, I could feel the loosening up of the muscle like I do every time I've been there so far.  Plus, the therapist assistant I got was omg sexy /drool lol.  I may have to bring them food one day as a thank you...but after I'm done, so I have an excuse to see them again ;)

Then I grabbed some sushi and ran to my MAA meeting (that's the mathematical association of america for those of you who don't know).  We discussed having a faculty lecture series this semester.  We're also going to watch the Pi vs E debate.  I'm pretty excited about that.

Then I ran home, dropped my bag, grabbed the leech and we drove up to the church for Mardi Gras!  It was a blast.  They made masks and then we had gumbo.  There was dancing and beads and so much smoke the fire department should have come lol.  The leech had a blast.  We still weren't done by 8:30 so we had to leave early. 

Now he's in bed asleep and I need to start working on my homework and studying for everything tomorrow.  We're pinning our initiates tomorrow so I've got to dress up and wear heels...woo...

I'll be so glad when this week is over.  Pssst...don't forget that Saturday is my birthday!

Tears of Laughter

Today was great.  First of all, I got to sleep in till 12:30pm and then I invited Shante over for pizza and movies.  We watched Son of Rambow.  The movie is utterly amazing.  You need to go see it.  I'm going to own it.  Then we went to Michael's to play D&D for 5 hours. 

I have to say, we have a really great group.  This was our first time playing together and the first time I'd played since high school.  We took about 3 hours to finish up our characters and get started but we managed to play for a solid 2 hours.  My character is a neutral evil rogue....in a party of lawful good paladin, lawful good ranger, and chaotic good rogue  >.>

It was a blast.  There was one point when they were all being attacked by the huge acid shooting ant and I was cutting up a rare flower for its petals to sell in town for money...all the while, laughing at them.  Oh and the lines that were said...Female ranger to male paladin, "Do you have a mount or are we doing this on foot?"; paladin to ranger, "You'll have to ride bareback."; ranger to paladin, "I'm an elf, I won't feel anything."  Said ranger had an asthma attack later from laughing when we explained to her what 'bareback' meant lol.  I can't remember the other good lines...next time I'll have to tweet them so I can remember.

So tomorrow is Evolution Sunday at church and I'm excited.  I'm not exactly sure what it is he'll be preaching on but I know it won't be traditional!

Oh, and I got a random text that was a wrong number...it ended up...weird.  Take a look.

Him: Ok...
Me:  ok?
Him: My bad
Me:  who is this?
Him: Grant
Me: wrong number?
Him:  I think, who are u?
Me: .......seriously?
Him: lol guess not. ill delete u and 4get bout this, g'night pimpin!
Me:  dude...my name is in my sig...you really in ridgway?  ((I reverse looked up his # - with the wrong area code lol))
Him: My name is in my sig also dude! and i dunno wat u talking bout...
Me:  my bad...atlanta
Him: I live bout 45 mims north of atl...
Me:  mhm...so why'd Jeremy give you my number?  ((I have a friend who lives in that area, which is why I assumed this))
Him:  Who the fuck is jeremy? Im trying to find allen.  Not alison or jeremy, thats y i said i 4get this whole thing n erase this wrong#
Me: lol then why are you still talking to me?
Him:  Im not,u keep asking ?s... Dnt flatter urself pimpin
Me:  and yet you keep answering them
Him: Just stfu.. Wow!
Me:  lol... no one's making you talk to me.

Don't you agree with me?

New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion